To Be Remembered.

Toasting glasses and dancing.
Card games and singing along.
A cold night in December.
A night of laughter and drinks.
A night to be remembered –
A night with tragedy lingering in the air.

Don’t blame them; they never forced it on me.
She didn’t bring that bottle with the white cap,
I supplied it myself.
She didn’t provide the dollar bill,
It was me- just me. It always has been.

Each shot, each drink – I was inching closer.
Each slurred word – I kept thinking my father was near.
You only wanted me to slow down.
Each hug, each kiss we shared, I was on my way-
While you sat there and figured I was just going to say.
Silly boys.

No one felt the tragedy-
It was a night of enjoyment, a night of celebration.
A night of love, a night to keep each other warm.
No one felt the tragedy-
Until my legs gave out-
My body gave up on me.

Picture after picture.
I just wanted to kiss you before it was too late.
Flash.
I wanted you to hold me; I was too weak to hold myself up.
Flash.
I wanted to see that pretty smile on your face- everything happens for a reason.
Flash.
I’m sorry I hid it from you.
Flash.
Picture after picture.

A night of celebration turned into crying and shaking.
You promised you wouldn’t leave my side-
When my body finally found the strength to wake once more,
You were still there, still holding me.
Flash.

No one knew it would be like this-
Be sensitive, I live in my own mind,
A separate world from your own.
You called it playing deadly games.
But no, you were just unaware.