Anxiety in a School Room. - Week 3

I couldn't find a way out, couldn't hide from it all except for my only losy escape.
He wasn't an escape at all,
Only brought me down to watch me hit the bottom - only to watch me fall.
As the days passed and the tears fell, I realized he was wrong.
As I started to take my own steps out of the hell that he had created,
Take a step back to look at the worthless mess I had become, I knew I was mistaken.
I wanted to walk, I wanted friends, I wanted to explore, I wanted to learn, I wanted to be apart of it all - I couldn't be with him handcuffed to my wrists.
I researched in a doctors white walled office how to be unlocked, where to find the key.
It was a little white circle, not big enough for me to choke on.
As I took one, the world changed. I changed.
I shook and was blind for so long as to how to stop the shaking.
In the classrooms, I found others with problems and asked them what they do - I just wanted this unwanted feeling to disappear, as I made him do.

I left him. I promised myself to never return.
I took the next step and joined in the classrooms, joined in on the life I had missed for that year.
Work overwhelms me but never will I regret leaving - regret taking the chance to live my life.
Memories were created, memories were burned. Everyday holds a new story to tell.
But every morning, those white circles wait. They wait to take away the pain, take away the fear.
They help me breathe - stops me from having an attack.
But they don't stop the shaking.